Episode 1 Review: The Lover (2015)
Oh well, how should i open up my article? I was so looking forward to Mnet‘s The Lover, the preview was stuck in my mind ever since it became available and i was certain this drama was going to be something different from the chaste world of South Korean dramas and my assumptions/expectations finally were true. It feels like going to church if you take into consideration your average South Korean dramas and The Lover is everything that doesn’t appear in front of the cameras during a daily drama journey. Now i can say that babies are neither being delivered by the stork nor the angel appears with a lily in his hands in the world of dramas and actually something happens between the pollen and the bee in order to produce honey! Since the drama is being rated as a 19+ one, consider my take on the drama a smooth 19+ one too, so proceed at your own caution in this vicious world of mussels and blood sausages! Tie your panties or undershorts tightly, a storm is coming!
If a passionate kiss or simply anything more intimate is being considered unethical in front of the virginal eyes of a part of the vast world of netizens that must consist of priests and nuns, then The Lover is the utmost brothel of soul-corrupting disharmony drama-wise. I’m certain a war is at its birth pangs and the holy inquisition is sharpening its keyboards, but i’m so glad this drama came to the surface to tickle the feet of hypocrisy that reigns supreme in the Bermuda Triangle of sainthood. I might be putting my finger in the flames with this article, but to be honest, i really don’t care, if it’s baked well, i will eat it! I laughed my lungs out and my eyes became as tiny as grains of sand being unable to stop laughing while watching the first episode of The Lover and i’m thankful for that.
Okay, what have we got here? The scenario invests in the daily love lives of four couples living in the same building with each apartment having its own aura as a love nest! The hipster looks of the apartment manager, Sung Min Jae, pace perfectly well with the satyric air The Lover inhales and exhales. It’s a world where sex and toilet humor walk hand in hand taking a walk under a romantic night sky’s crescendo by the fragrant cherry blossoms; not! Let’s get on a meet and greet room by room roller coaster and find out what’s going on behind the keyholes, in front of the cameras!
Apartment 609 – Do Si (35) & Du Ri (31)
Oh Do Si (Oh Jung Se) and Ryu Du Ri (Ryu Hyun Kyung) have been dating for 5 years and they’ve been living together for the last 2 years. They had a long distance relationship since Do Si was living in the county side and Du Ri in the city, the problem has been solved and they live together in Du Ri’s apartment saving money for food and gas! Marriage is not an option for the time being since their future is uncertain! Do Si is a voice actor and Du Ri reviews products as an internet reporter in the blog sphere! Something we don’t see in South Korean dramas lately is a woman belonging in the category of smokers, Du Ri is one of them! Do Si’s libido can reach insuperable heights whenever and wherever, any time is the right time and any place is the right place! He’s on a constant love-making mission in the world of pleasures and tries to unveil and cherish Du Ri’s love secrets, even when she yawns it’s a moment for a love attack! Du Ri doesn’t think the same way, not every second of the day exists for making love, but Do Si doesn’t understand it and while Du Ri’s making some coffee he finds another chance to woof woof her. Her passive behavior reaches an end and makes sure she restrains him for a while by simply deconstructing his Eiffel Tower with her finger pliers! Do Si’s sitting quietly like a sad puppy at the edge of the sofa and Du Ri holds out her hand, all the pain in the world is depicted in his stare! He doesn’t give up and points out his wounded Eiffel Tower! Do Si, you have two hands as well, not only three legs, dude! Ηolding her hand is just another attempt to get closer together as part of yet another breast-grabbing experience!
Du Ri’s reading an article and from that moment and on she doesn’t want Do Si’s urine to be splattering around the toilet and insists he should urinate sitting down by the time he mentions that his own splatters above the average! It’s something he eventually tries while Du Ri’s brushing her teeth and she’s happy with that, but he doesn’t only urinate, the sounds of a forthcoming storm get on Du Ri’s nerves who leaves the bathroom immediately! The answer to Du Ri’s question was eventually “no”, but the damage was already done!
Jo Si helps Du Ri with clothes and as expected, he’s not offering the greatest of help since his mind is always dedicated to nasty thoughts! Du Ri’s brother, Sung Gyun (27), appears and he’s a conservative person who gets indigestion with premarital sexual affairs. He doesn’t like Do Si, he doesn’t like him at all and he doesn’t hide it neither in front of him nor in his absence, basically he usually ignores him! As soon as Do Si gives him money to get out with his friends he becomes anew a kind and friendly person! It wasn’t his money though, it was from Du Ri’s wallet!
Do Si wants Du Ri to take off his white hairs, but a bed-shaking noise breaks the silence! Do Si decides to show the dudes of apartment 709 above who’s the man and here’s an apartment interaction! By the time the door opens Joon Jae appears and he’s one head taller than Do Si who’s at loss for words! If this wasn’t enough, Takuya appears too and he’s one head taller than Do Si too and the topic of the conversation becomes Do Si’s kindhearted rice cake delivery service, but sadly enough there is none left for them! He should have drank all the milk his mother brought for him indeed! Poor devastated Do Si, height is not one of his manhood’s medals.
It’s Du Ri’s birthday, but Do Si hasn’t bought her anything yet since doesn’t have money, but he intends to offer another present, a pleasure present! He intends to fulfill her wildest desire at the moment and after lots of thinking Du Ri wants Do Si to cuss at her, even if she usually doesn’t like it! The cussing journey begins and he doesn’t serve his purpose well, Du Ri’s not satisfied! After following the same kissing footsteps again a cussing rambling begins that leaves Du Ri speechless for a while! Seriously, why would he curse about her mother?! Then Do Si wonders if it would had be better if he said something about her gay father! Okay, a supposed to be a pleasure present turned into an uncomfortable sleep on the floor for Do Si! Happy birthday, Du Ri!
Apartment 610 – Young Joon (21) & Man Goo (33)
Jung Young Joon (Jung Joon Young) and Choi Jin Nye (Choi Yeo Jin) have been a couple for two years and they’ve been living together for the last year, there may be a 12 years gap between them, but they cherish each other’s quirky company and love! He’s a guitarist chasing after his dream in the difficult world of stardom entertainment and she owns a banchan restaurant. Being a sexy noona, Man Goo, as Young Joon calls her, is having fun in her living room while watching her favorite variety shows! Shortly after Joon Young arrives and thinks she’s too loud, but soon enough he joins and the sing & dance party has two perpetrators! They receive a phone call that they interrupt their neighbors’ peace of mind and Joon Young refers to Man Goo as the noisy fat grandma who’s the source of the problem! She gets pissed off and locks herself in the room, but Joon Young leaves underneath the door a letter of apology full of orthographic mistakes! Apology accepted, but it’s not the first time he makes mistakes, they are all over the internet! And here she is, another smoker lady in a South Korean dramas! Here’s a cigarette to both of you girls!
Young Joon wants to prepare himself for his Dream Team show appearance and he’s brought various exercise machines at the living room to expand his muscles! Man Goo indicates that it’s not something that happens overnight but he proceeds anyway! And there he is with his Oslo athletic uniform under the effect of nutrition pills that were actually estrogen pills concerning menopause! Man Goo’s reaction to Young Joon’s airy and acrobatic exercising that “he’s not even a woman” was hilarious, but Young Joon’s overall exercising attempts by bitch-slapping and kicking the punchbag etc were priceless. Trying to do pushups? It was like having electroshock sex with the carpet! The Eye of the Tiger is playing in the background and it was more than spot on as our young Rocky Balboa was diving deeper in the corridors of flamboyant womanhood! And it’s not that he exercised his chest way too much that it got stuffed with hyper muscles, it was Man Goo’s bra hiding underneath! I think Yo Na found a best friend! His appearance got cancelled and some (wo)manly screams straight from the bathroom and the plea for help indicate that he should have never taken these pills!
Man Goo prepares fossils while Joon Young’s surfing on the net and spreads his violent orthography all over the place! Dance practice is on Joon Young’s schedule for tomorrow since he will have to do dancing figures while playing the guitar and he shows his skills to Man Goo, something that actually looks like a monkey making love to thin air! He’s priceless! Shortly after a guilty quiz takes place and during the table some toilet jokes popup, but Man Goo doesn’t seem to enjoy them, not at all! This wasn’t enough, fossils remind Joon Young of… ahem! Man Goo erupts and Joon Young’s naughty & humorous mood surrenders to Man Goo’s vibrating nerve system!
Nighttime arrives and Man Goo finds the heart-shaped condom box Joon Young’s fans gave to him! She’s so excited! Which one should they use? The one with strawberry scent? The one that extends “bedtime”? Nah, Joon Young doesn’t need this! Or maybe the glow in the dark condom?! And what a timing! Blackout plus Man Goo wants to find her earring! There’s only one way to find it, the glow in the dark! He converted himself into the manly equivalent of the Lighthouse of Alexandria! His stare was hilarious as if he was saving humanity or discovering the doorway to heaven! He tried as hard as he could, but the… attempts to keep it glowing point towards the direction that the one that extends “bedtime” was actually needed. Poor earring.
Apartment 709 – Joon Jae (in his early 20s) & Takuya (21)
This apartment used to be a one man army place with Lee Joon Jae (Lee Jae Joon) living there for 2 years now after his parents were appointed overseas. He barely pays for his monthly rent since the money he makes from his part time job are not that much! Surprise, his sleep got ruined but his post on Peter Pan had a reply and the quiet roommate he’s been looking for is here, Takuya (Terada Takuya), a traveling Japanese soul! Their first encounter and eye contact when Takuya’s suitcase fell prologues that something’s shyly in the making! Joon Jae’s apartment is untidy, a solitary young man’s representative apartment dare i say, but Takuya is a bright person and seems to enjoy this new place, the sofa, the underwear, the tissue, whereas Joon Jae tries to acclimate himself under the new circumstances! Takuya would prefer to sleep on the bed as well since he can’t sleep on the floor or anywhere else and Joon Jae seems to hesitate a bit, but since he owes a few rents and Takuya gives him immediately the money for his 3-month stay everything has been settled! That elevator handshake!
Joon Jae helps Takuya with his suitcase! Takuya’s swimming in oceans of happiness as his South Korean adventure has already began and he likes jajis! I mean jerseys, but it sounds like d!ck in Korean and we witness a conversation between an overly enthusiastic Takuya and Joon Jae trying to read between the lines and reply properly! Takuya likes “jajis” because they’re comfortable and Joon Jae likes the big ones and the conversation goes on as they’re counting their “jajis”! The “dangerous bromance” goes on! Later on, they tidy their clothes and Takuya expresses how nice Korean people are, even though they call him tako (octopus in Japanese). As Takuya flicks his clothes something falls on Joon Jae’s cheek and we have one tender encounter between them with Takuya trying to take it off! Time to sleep and as they toss and turn they get close, but they eventually solve this matter by changing sides!
Apartment 510 – Hwan Jong (32) & Seol Eun (28)
Park Hwan Jong (Park Jong Hwan) is a part time lecturer at a test preparation center and Ha Seol Eun (Ha Eun Seol) wants to enter the world of business through a start-up. They met via friends and they’ve been dating for 3 months! As for living together? It’s a new experience, they are under the same roof for 17 days now since they’ve already gotten engaged! They live here for the time being until their own home is completely constructed. Seol Eun has prepared food and it’s time to serve Hwan Jong who receives only vegetables whereas the meat part goes to Seol Eun’s dish! Hwan Jong notices step by step Seol Eun’s actions and tries to find a way to tell her what he’s noticed, not only this time, but also other times in the past! Telling her that she’s the one to monopolize the best part of their meals turns into a couple table fight with Seol Eun trying to defend her stomach pleasures, something that leads to Hwan Jong’s bombardment of facts popping up one after the other! He doesn’t receive back answers, all he gets are questions one after the other with Seol Eun’s disarming temperament questioning Hwan Jong whether she’s an unhealthy and bloated pig or not! No more late-night snacks for her, you’d wish, Hwan Jong! And there she is devouring another dish! Hwan Jong appears and she tries to hide her tracks by falling all over the bowl! Hwan Jong gives her an idea once he thinks she’s been crying all this time and she pretends to be crying indeed, once the liquid falls from the bowl it feels as if she’s been crying 1 Litre of Tears! He’s willing to let her eat as much as she want to, but the “tears” won’t stop falling no matter how hard he tries, Seol Eun has secured her eating perimeter but he has to leave first in order to secure the table too!
Nighttime has fallen over the building and the couples are asleep. Du Ri covers Do Si, who’s probably seeing something naughty in his sleep, with a blanket, Joon Young’s probably having nightmares over the time-extending condoms as his Man Goo noonim hugs him tenderly, the “dangerous bromance” duo are getting closer anew in their sleep while Seol Eun “cleans” her tears on the table to start “crying” once again by the time Hwan Jong reappears! I like the chemistry in all four couples, but my favorite for the time being has to be the one with Choi Yeo Jin and Jung Joon Young! If you’re looking for something utterly hilarious and comical and the plastic world of allegedly ethical restrictions haven’t covered your brain and eventually your eyes with blinders then The Lover will… come and get you!