Because It’s the First Time ~ Episode 4 Recap ~ Dramajjang
“Wherever we are,
Wherever we have to go;
No one among us is sure.
We’re all confused, but fortunately we’re together.
At this moment, even if we didn’t say it, we knew.
Whoever we meet and whoever we love,
No matter what happens, we have each other.”
Tae Oh and Song Yi went to Ji Ahn’s workplace. Both of them have become aware that the house Song Yi used to live happily with her parents has become Se Hyun’s house by now.
Se Hyun recalled the latest events and after considering Tae Oh an idiot who rushes to Song Yi’s aid every time she calls him she went out for a walk.
Tae Oh wanted to find out why Song Yi got rejected and she started breaking apart. She kept staring outside while reliving the moment and she let Tae Oh know how scary yet courageous was the confession process. She tried her best to treasure love the way everyone does, but her desire to feel a bit happier didn’t reach completion. Concerning her own feelings, every time Ji Ahn appeared in front of her the world was becoming brighter, especially when he smiled at her which felt like the personification of love.
There’s a girl Tae Oh always wanted to make her smile since she’s prettier when she does that instead of crying, but he doesn’t want to make a decision yet on what is love and what his dreams could be like since he’s not certain about anything. Song Yi doesn’t consider Tae Oh desperate because his family is wealthy whereas herself and Ji Ahn have to take decisions faster than others since their lives are more uncertain. Finding something stable in the vastness of the world is quite hard according to Song Yi, as for love, even though Tae Oh got rejected he found a better woman to stare at! However, Song Yi didn’t want to talk about the confession part and urged Tae Oh to keep it a secret!
Ji Ahn was mopping his father’s restaurant and Song Yi’s confession kept echoing in his mind. It was a beautifully awkward moment and Song Yi let him know that she liked him since she was little but her feelings grew stronger with the passing of years. She didn’t want to be the first one to confess her feelings and she intended to wait for him to do so, but she took into consideration his words that it wasn’t just a crush as his own confession and proceeded. Ji Ahn tore Song Yi apart the moment he said that he could only see her as a friend. Song Yi couldn’t believe his words and started crying as she was presenting Ji Ahn’s deeper than friendship approach on her. Nighttime was tough for Ji Ahn and the debt on his credit card was multiplying the burden on his shoulders.
Song Yi had stuck her face on the restaurant’s door and she demanded from Ji Ahn to open it! Even though she was drunk Tae Oh thought she was joking by shouting at Ji Ahn! As soon as she found herself in Tae Oh’s arms things became emotionally awkward, but soon Song Yi urged him to kill Ji Ahn! The moment she noticed Ji Ahn she bit Tae Oh’s hand and started crying in front of Ji Ahn. Tae Oh informed him that Song Yi got rejected by someone but he should keep it a secret!
Tae Oh informed Choi Hoon and Ga In as well and all of them went to a karaoke bar where Ji Ahn was exploding all over the place while singing even though he wasn’t drunk! Ji Ahn’s overall attitude was making himself look like he was the one who was rejected while Song Yi couldn’t reveal that he was the one she likes. Deep within, Ji Ahn knew that he had lied about his feelings and we traveled in the future where Song Yi had become a teacher and Ji Ahn was a responsible adult! He offered her flowers and confessed his feelings by his expensive car! Everything that happened made Ji Ahn collapse and lose himself in tears. The next morning he wished that last night’s events weren’t real!
Tae Oh was talking to Song Yi about the girl Ji Ahn liked at work and he immediately thought that workplaces are a dating heaven! He told her that Jin Ahn neither wanted to date her so much nor give her up to someone else. Even though she was trying to hide the fact that she was angry it was carved all over her face!
Choi Hoon realized that Song Yi got rejected by Ji Ahn, but it didn’t make sense since Ji Ahn was the one crying and with Ga In’s help he set aside his assumptions! Ga In thought that Tae Oh was pretty cool last night and made Choi Hoon lose his mind!
Tae Oh took Song Yi off his scooter since he intended to take Se Hyun to school! Choi Hoon informed everyone that Ga In didn’t mention her father today and they were relieved. Tae Oh let Se Hyun know that he intends to be picking her up every day and she was excited with the fact that she’s going to ride a scooter for the first time!
Ji Ahn was waiting for Song Yi to appear and even though he decided to get the next bus without her she eventually made it! Song Yi ignored Ji Ahn and she witnessed Tae Oh with Se Hyun on his scooter by the bus’ window. Ji Ahn made her sit in his place, but the awkwardness was there!
Choi Hoon arrived at the audition which never took place since his parents’ connections did the talking! He was disheartened by the fact that his parents had already started building his career while he wanted to achieve everything on his own and his mother reminded him that he would never be able to take leading roles without having graduated from college.
Choi Hoon desperately needed his friends’ support and all of them appeared eventually. Choi Hoon informed them on what actually happened and he was embarrassed even though he was accepted after his parents bribed the production team. He wasn’t pleased with the fact that the other one auditioning for the same role didn’t acquire it even though he was better than Choi Hoon. He couldn’t help it but think that he didn’t pass some auditions in the past because there were people like his mother who were paying for their sons’ success. Since all of them weren’t at their finest Ga In urged them to take a shower altogether and they invaded the fountains while having fun and leaving everything behind for a while!
Choi Hoon considers his friends his biggest supporters instead of his parents and their connections! Even though they didn’t want to openly admit it and even though they have their own problems Choi Hoon was glad all five are united when real life shows its harsh face!
While Tae Oh was watering the garden Song Yi found the chance to put her underwear on the clothes dryer, but he became aware of what she was doing and started making fun of her and urged her to clean the apartment! After Song Yi left he found her underwear cute but decided to silence these vibes as soon as possible!
Song Yi noticed that Tae Oh had watched a “dirty” video and started making fun of him while saying that he’s a pervert! Soon enough the overall ambiance became playfully tense and the pillar wars began!
The rumors that Ga In has lost her mind have their own impact on her work and Choi Hoon reassured her that neither him nor the rest of the rooftop company thinks of her as a crazy person and that he intends to protect her!
Song Yi was reading a recipe notebook and eventually fell asleep while Tae Oh was working on his project. He was by her side and he was praising how small her face and hands are, but he couldn’t forget just for once how “ugly” she is and Song Yi was apologetic about it while sleep talking. It’s something her father used to do and Tae Oh decided to ask her a few questions! Song Yi’s worried about her tuition and she’s not certain if she’ll be able to pay back her debt. She misses her mother and hopes that she’s fine without having to worry about her and Song Ah. Tae Oh could barely hold back his tears and Song Yi asked him to wipe away her own.
Tae Oh didn’t only buy pizza, he also painted Song Yi’s face! He informed her that she was talking in her sleep and that she was praising him, something that never really happened since Song Yi was well aware she wouldn’t say such things about him! Tae Oh doesn’t really like pizza, but he keeps ordering it in order for his rice arrive and Song Yi took a brave decision, both of them will start cooking at home from tomorrow!
Tae Oh was glad that Song Yi stays at his place which isn’t as lonely as it used to be! A flashback from the past took place when Tae Oh informed Song Yi that his father was getting married. Tae Oh wasn’t invited at the wedding and he was ordered to live on his own. Even though it felt like a blessing it was really lonely for Tae Oh before Song Yi’s arrival.
Tae Oh switched tickets in order to be able to sit by Se Hyun’s side! He wasn’t really watching the movie since he was usually falling asleep and Se Hyun was enjoying herself!
Ji Ahn isn’t really helpful with the book organization, but he’s not getting ready for the entrance exam either. Song Yi was curious about the fact that Ji Ahn keeps smiling and acting as if nothing happened between them, but he didn’t offer an answer. Song Yi kept insisting that she was ugly while Ji Ahn thought otherwise, but he couldn’t utter the reason why he can’t be with her. Song Yi urged him to change his attitude towards her since she may get the wrong impression again and he complied to everything she had to say.
Inside the bus Ji Ahn still paid for two tickets and Song Yi sat on her own and couldn’t stop thinking that if Ji Ahn really liked her he’d be happy with her. She recalled Tae Oh and Se Hyun on his scooter and thought that she should have liked Tae Oh instead of Ji Ahn and started wondering if Tae Oh likes her!
Se Hyun gave Tae Oh some movies from his favorite producer. They were movies he was supposed to have watched, but apparently he hadn’t! It’s been only one week taking her back home and Tae Oh thinks that after a month has passed she will start liking him and Se Hyun awkwardly thought that it’s going to be fun if his prediction turns to life! Tae Oh through his monologue with the door between them urged Se Hyun to start having fun with him as soon as possible and not wait for a month to pass by and both of them were happy!
Song Yi thought that Tae Oh wouldn’t like her, otherwise it would be a love triangle! Soon enough she started wondering which side she would pick if Tae Oh and Ji Ahn started fighting about her and she was enjoying the moment while Ji Ahn was wondering why she was happy! He sat by her side and held her hand without any further explanations!
~ Thoughts ~
Because It’s the First Time keeps flowing naturally in a realistic tone and without feeling forced or rushed. Everything unveils day by day in the characters’ world and that’s how we get to know them at the present, day by day, but without neglecting hints from the past which define them at the present or dreams that get entangled in future’s uncertainty. Our main figures are as human as the neighbor next door and many of the drama’s watchers were, are or will be in their shoes and that’s what makes the relationship between this drama and its audience quite heartwarming without setting aside its humorous aspects!
Ji Ahn is Song Yi’s personal oasis in this desert named life, but every time she finds herself in the desert she always finds shelter in Tae Oh who always rushes to her aid. Song Yi, after the signs she received from Ji Ahn, felt the urge to externalize her feelings, but the outcome wasn’t the one she expected and the smile which was resembling love in her eyes hid the sun from her horizon. On the other side of the fence lies Tae Oh who can’t stand seeing Song Yi crying and his ongoing task is to always make her smile. Even though love is being depicted in Song Yi’s face, the fact that Tae Oh doesn’t want to define this very specific feeling or make his dreams more palpable derives from the fact that he’s still in search of who he really is. Once he gets to know himself he’ll be able to be sincere about his feelings and the fact that real life is not so harsh upon him due to his father’s wealth is something that makes things easier for him in a more pragmatic level. However, this doesn’t mean that his internal world would resemble heaven since his background has left its own impact upon him especially when it gets compared to his friends’ backgrounds.
Ji Ahn denied a vast part of himself by overshadowing Song Yi’s heartfelt confession with his own painful share of reality. It’s something that left its own impact upon him and he could only explode inside the karaoke bar and literally spit his heart out while singing out loud and jumping all over the place. The internal tension should get soothed and after all these internal and external eruptions he could only lose himself in tears for everything he desired but eventually denied in front of his very eyes. He can’t even afford to date at the present, the debt lies on his shoulders and with every passing day his future feels more uncertain. He couldn’t drag Song Yi down with him and his dream of officially confessing his feelings in the future once he would have become a successful and responsible adult was lying to pieces at that point.
Choi Hoon’s humble victory over his parents’ ambitions wasn’t as considerate of his feelings as he expected it to be. It wasn’t an audition, it was a direct hire. Choi Hoon had acquired the role without even knowing it since bribery did the talking, but it was going against Choi Hoon’s purity and dreamlike approach on the pathway he wants to walk upon. He wasn’t auditioning all this time in order to prove something to his parents, he was doing it for himself in order to move forward, but it would also be the vehicle which would prove to his parents that he was actually working on something and he wasn’t just relaxing thoughtlessly. Choi Hoon felt the injustice he was going through in his previous auditions the moment he acquired a role over someone else who was more skilled than himself. Nevertheless, it was a beginning for him and since things turned out this way he could only accept it in an attempt to prove his worth and progress things on his own.
I loved the fact that all of them temporarily cleansed their demons at the park’s fountains, it felt like a renewal of the moment. It wouldn’t mend their wounds, but it would become one of their youth’s precious moments. Walking out of the line for a while in order to embrace life far away from reality’s sharpened edges is always needed, especially when you’re at the cusp between adolescence and adulthood which often looks like a gray zone, but it often pounds with emotion.
Through Song Yi’s sleep talking session Tae Oh elicited important information about her concerns and got to know everything she’s going through to a wider extent. It’s not like he wasn’t aware of her problems, but everyone keeps things deep within and the rooftop fellowship doesn’t differ. The fact that living inside a tent doesn’t let Song Yi sleep well was clearly depicting her nearly homeless status and the severe economical difficulties she’s facing day by day which are mainly being reflected through the tuition she has to pay back at some point in her life. Even though her mother left her and her little sister, Song Yi doesn’t resent her. She’s well aware that she had no other option but to run away with the hope that she’s doing well somewhere, wherever. I loved the tears Tae Oh kept on the inside and the fact that he wiped away the tears from Song Yi’s eyes, even while sleep talking she was still asking for his help.
Tae Oh tried to brighten her mood in his own way by painting her face, but we also became aware of the loneliness he’s going through. Song Yi isn’t only the girl he likes, she’s also the person who put an end to his daily solitude and made the time he spends at home more vibrant. Who doesn’t dream of living on his own far away from parents from a point and on? It’s a privilege Tae Oh acquired too soon, but even though it seemed like a necessary evil in order for his father to keep living his own life with his new wife it was a blessing in disguise that would bring the rooftop company together despite Tae Oh’s loneliness while his friends were working.
Tae Oh isn’t really interested in watching movies, all he wants is being close to Se Hyun and he earned this by working hard to achieve his presence in her life! Se Hyun has already fallen for Tae Oh but she tries to maintain her emotions until she’s certain that Tae Oh will have eyes only for her. His ongoing siege was seductive and effective and his monologue towards Se Hyun behind the door was highly representative of the progress he makes in unveiling his emotions. Even though he’s got his own sense of humor, his cool attitude is only a facade trying to hide his awkwardness, but with the passing of episodes he becomes more specific. I don’t think he loves Se Hyun, not at this very moment, but he’s definitely attracted by her and i hope she won’t end up in a one-sided maelstrom of love Tae Oh brought to life with his own temperament.
Ji Ahn was trying to re-approach Song Yi by being nearby, but she was either ignoring him or trying to keep her distance from him. Since she couldn’t conceive why he couldn’t be with her and Ji Ahn didn’t intend to give her an answer she could only ask him to stop being the way he used to towards her. His smile and caring attitude were definitely shattering her at that point and she didn’t want to receive like-minded signals in the near or far future. Laughing at who she would pick if Ji Ahn and Tae Oh started fighting about her may had been hilarious but it wasn’t far from the truth, it could actually be a possible scenario in the future! Sitting by her side and holding her hand felt like a silent promise of love, an indirect signal urging her to give him some time to make things right for himself in order to be able to be with her. The moment for me to launch the 5th episode has arrived!