Episode 2 Review: The Lover (2015)
Woof woof! The second episode of the love-inducing elixir The Lover is here and here i am as well to present in the most possible civilized way the vibes of this drama! Spicy, salty, glowing in the dark or oozing wet from the ceiling, The Lover is here with a multifaceted appetite to devour your senses! Even if you lock your door, The Lover’s gonna get you! The only way to survive is to treasure every second of this sex & toilet humor roller coaster from apartment to apartment in front of your very eyes!
Apartment 610 – Young Joon (21) & Man Goo (33)
Young Joon pretends to be sleeping but Man Goo has already noticed that he was watching something, a TV show for… lonely nights! Haha, never thought that Koreans had a saying like this, if your hair is growing fast then you’re thinking of dirty thoughts! But this one seems to be applying perfectly well to Young Joon and his perv stare! Man Goo unveils her thoughts on the girl’s breast and she’s not that pleased. Young Joon states that he prefers hers since they fit in one hand, something that upsets Man Goo who considers her boobs an overflowing power if you try to grab it with one hand. Man Goo’s proud of her breast, if the average Korean breast is 75A, then hers is 75C, C, C, C, C! As for men, they talk about… here! I had referred to Do Si on the preview episode’s article as a three-legged man since he’s a love volcano ready to erupt anytime anyplace, but Young Joon, whose pride is overflowing and prevents him from going to saunas, thinks the same way about himself! He has to walk with his legs forming a 30 degrees angle because his anchor is too heavy! Man Goo keeps praising his manhood because she doesn’t want to ruin his pleasure bubble and it’s time to eat, sausages! Even though Young Joon has one too, he lowers himself and heads towards the kitchen, as for his own sausage, it’s not even big according to Man Goo! Romantic music and remembrance rain hard inside the lonely room as Man Goo recalls the days with Johnson, a man from Congo who was probably privileged as she’s zooming in at the privilege-part of the photo, definitely more than Young Joon whose photograph gets faced down!
Young Joon’s sister is coming over and as they wait for her, Man Goo recalls her school years and her uniform, although Young Joon wonders whether it was a uniform or a hanbok! As for the sunglasses, he doesn’t really need them, he’s not that famous anyway! And then what? A student smoking at the corner?! Time to catch her on video! But she looks familiar, of course she does, she’s Young Joon’s sister, Na Young (16), who doesn’t know that noonim and Young Joon are living together! On their way back home they find the apartment manager in the middle of a grandiose dilemma, should he taste the failed ramen Do Si and Du Ri left or not?
Na Young lands on the sofa, but Man Goo’s eyes find a smiling bra hiding over there! Emergency! Pretending to be exercising like a broken box spring, he hides it behind the sofa with his foot! Their mother’s concerned about Young Joon and Na Young brought jangjoryim for him, but it’s not easy to hide that they’re living together since they do live together! Na Young becomes suspicious and Man Goo tries to change the subject by asking her about school! Things have changed since then and more words and situations have popped up, like ugeuros (attention seekers) and gilgilpapa (knowing when to step in or stay out) and the age chasm between them suddenly feels more apparent! As for the autographs from Girlfriend?! Man Goo mistakes it for a real girlfriend and erupts! Shortly after she acts as if she was just curious in order to cover up the smoke and she’s acting cute once again by the time she finds out that Girlfriend is a girl group! When Bobby becomes part of the conversation, Man Goo mistakes him for Bobby Kim and once again she becomes a laughingstock, but this is not the end, the great eruption follows with both brother and sister dying laughing in front of Man Goo who can’t follow their conversation! Na Young’s leaving and Man Goo can finally destroy the sofa! It’s all because of that little brat that made fun of her and talked to her informally! Time for revenge as she tries to post the smoking video online, but Young Joon prevents her and she orders him to leave immediately as he tries to blandish her and stands like a helpless puppy on the ground!
Young Joon has some naughty plans, again! Man Goo’s not in the mood for it and Young Joon feels so sad; while she was feeling tired, he was restraining himself! Young Joon will wash up, Man Goo will take care of her nails and then… kaboom! The three-legged Young Joon’s ready and the glow in dark will shine alight anew! The condoms though are nowhere to be found, until he finds their remains in the trashcan. A mysterious phone call and Young Joon’s personal assumptions that something’s not right about Man Goo and his condoms put him in sleep mode. Suddenly, making love feels so distant and the kaboom was left behind in the sphere of fantasy! But where did the condoms go? Of course they were transformed into water-balloons to keep away the flies(?)! Heroic music, third leg in cannon mode and there he is ready to make sweet sweet love once again!
Apartment 609 – Do Si (35) & Du Ri (31)
Do Si and Du Ri are getting ready to leave as she’s having an interview today and she has to do well; Do Si’s butt-slapping her in order to encourage her! Du Ri brings Do Si’s bag that’s open and everything falls on the floor. And what a bag, there’s trash everywhere in it! The more they gather the remains the more gross he becomes to our eyes since his bag is nothing less than a trashcan! Du Ri thinks the same way and considers Do Si a possible mentally ill patient that should definitely see a doctor! He won’t let it slide so easily and he starts searching her own bag to find out that it’s not that different from his! He even found a 20 years old Titanic cinema ticket and the renowned theme starts playing in the background! It’s departure time!
It’s ramen time and as expected Do Si appears with hands lurking beneath his pants, Du Ri wonders how could he eat with these dirty hands, but Do Si indicates that it was just a wedgie he had to fix! He finds ramen too salty whereas Du Ri indicates that it’s more spicy, he throws in some water in order to make ramen appeal more to his own taste, something that doesn’t satisfy Du Ri, not at all! She adds more spices, he adds more water and so it goes on like forever with Du Ri enjoying her precious food even if it’s too spicy and Do Si eventually surrendering after he made the pot look like a swimming pool! A repetitive scene in repetitive motive in a repetitive tense dialogue as they entered a loop! As for cancer? She’s got cancer insurance!
It’s Do Si’s turn to throw away the full of trash boxes and a malevolent elevator experience takes place! He’s singing Eyes, Nose, Lips trying to unsuccessfully impersonate Taeyang’s voice until he notices a woman nearby! Then, the apartment manager is inside the elevator and he talks about people who smoke too much at the building and that he should track them down, until he notices Do Si’s box which is full of empty cigarette packets! It doesn’t end here, the next time he finds himself along with the “dangerous bromance” duo and if this wasn’t enough, on the next ride he’s with three female students and his box opens up to fill the floor with empty condom and cigarette packets! Afraid of the world and boxes in general, he hides inside his apartment as he steadily erupts with Du Ri being unable to understand what suddenly got into him! Oh, the embarrassment!
Apartment 709 – Joon Jae (in his early 20s) & Takuya (21)
The hipster apartment manager finds a parcel and enters the dangerous bromance’s apartment to deliver it in person, but they’re nowhere to be found! Heading towards the toilet, he overhears ecstatic breaths and the shadow on the wall indicates that something’s going on, back and forth, back and forth and… it’s cool to clean the bathtub on a sunny day! The hipster manager was relieved and Takuya’s happy too since the parcel’s for him! False alarm!
Boys will be boys and Joon Jae’s playing soccer, South Korea Vs Japan! Takuya’s excited and wears Japan’s national team’s soccer uniform and everything’s getting heated up! Takuya’s coughing and the word he uses in Japanese sounds like saekki in Korean and Joon Jae steadily gets pissed off and that’s how it goes on full of “coughing” and saekki until Takuya tells him what’s the real meaning his Japanese words that caused a Korean misunderstanding! Takuya won and his wish will be granted, no more formalities! Next time Joon Jae should wear a Korean jaji too!
-Block it well, saekki!
-I can’t block my saekk!
Joon Jae’s watching a baseball match, but a video link appears in his cell phone! By the time he opens it up the tissue quantity and direction start to change by the time some Tokyo pleasures appear in front of his screen! Takuya’s bored and enters the room, but he recalls that very specific music coming from Joon Jae’s cell phone! And that’s right, it’s porn and Takuya’s so excited but so sad at the same time since he torn to pieces Joon Jae’s happy time! He refers to some Japanese porn stars, but Joon Jae knows them only by face. Then how does he understand Japanese? Visually! Takuya disagrees, he has to deeply read through the lines in order to appreciate a piece of Japanese porn! It’s Japanese-teaching time for Joon Jae’s happy time! Japanese porn sensei Takuya’s here and the Korean porn student Joon Jae should pay attention! Itai yo means that it hurts and Joon Jae has to repeat after Takuya with feeling! Motto stands for more, hazukashii means i’m shy! Oh, Joon Jae sugoi! Iku means that it’s almost time and the end feels near and Takuya’s presentation was so representative Joon Jae shut his mouth in a sudden outburst because he was under a near-iku circumstance! Takuya sensei understands and hands Joon Jae over lots of tissue to take care of his iku fountain! An overly awkward and hilarious moment!
Apartment 510 – Hwan Jong (32) & Seol Eun (28)
I wouldn’t expect anything different from Seol Eun, she’s watching a food series on the TV while relaxing as a Joseon princess on her sofa! Hwan Jong just had a bath and he follows mother nature’s ecstatic love call, but Seol Eun didn’t get to the point until his bathrobe was torn in half like a gorge! Well, his winking & blinking love signals weren’t that erotic to start with and i can understand Seol Eun. Instead of an intimate moment she’s getting intimate with her toilet and Hwan Jong just picked the least essential moment to start a behind the door conversation about making love under an utterly romantic symbolism which resembles moments of intimacy to doing the laundry! Let her poop, dude! If you want to do the “laundry” either wait or do the real laundry! Well, you asked for it, hand laundry for tonight!
Last scene – Universal love
And it’s Do Si’s birthday this time and he took good care of the candles on the cake in one blow! As the night goes on Do Si gets drunk and his “sentimental” side appears, he’s apologetic for not earning money and he’s displeased with his voice actor works! Du Ri tries to cheer him up and considers a hot night essential since it’s his birthday, but Do Si interprets anew all the phrases about her mother that turned her into a love’s abhorrent iceberg during her birthday pleasure night! Oh well, she surpasses all these mental obstacles and dresses like a sexy secretary in front of the company’s… president, Do Si! He’s so drunk he doesn’t receive immediately all the necessary sensual signals! Even though she laughs hysterically, i have to admit that her attempt is far better than Do Si’s previous try to turn her on! Although, what the hell, what was that foot-handshake?! Priceless! The horse is happy tonight and so is our lovely couple since the president signed a good deal tonight and not only once! Bedroom, bathroom and back at the bedroom once again for the third and most hilarious round! Kim Jong Il’s back from the dead and he’s rejuvenated to deliver the message as he caught Du Ri as a pleasure spy and then, after the “investigation” is over, a fourth round is on the horizon. Kkeok Jeong appears, but who the hell is Kkeok Jeong?! He looked like a prehistoric caveman from the Mongolian steppe or something! I guess all that matters now is the fourth round, or not?!